A Brief Guide to Counseling
I know that coming to counseling can be anxiety producing or may bring up self-judgment, especially at the start. I hope this guide will ease some of the apprehension.
What’s going to happen at my first appointment?
In our first session I’ll review some important parts of the intake documentation with you and we’ll talk about why you’ve come to counseling. As always, your questions are welcome.
During your first few sessions we will be getting to know each other. As we’re talking you might ask yourself questions like, “Can I work with this person?” and “Do I feel safe enough to talk openly?”
The first session will last about 55 minutes and if you decide to continue we’ll schedule your next sessions. Counseling is most effective when it happens on a weekly basis and we can decide what timing works best for you.
I’ve never been to counseling before, what do I do?
Talking is the main activity in counseling and early on I’ll do more directing of the conversation until you become more at ease. Later we may explore what’s going on for you using self-reflection, homework, visualizations, and other experiential exercises.
Here are some things you can do in your first session:
Here are some more things you can do in later sessions:
Why be in counseling?
The main reason to be in counseling is to feel better. For a time it might be a struggle as you face the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid, but the overall goal is for you to feel better about yourself and your life.
People go into counseling to get different things:
Some of the downsides of counseling may include poor fit with the counselor or with the kind of counseling, feeling uncomfortable, or being challenged. If it’s one of the first two, feel free to bring it up with me right away; hopefully we can work it out. If it can’t be worked out, there’s no point in being in a situation that is unproductive for you.
If you're struggling with being too uncomfortable or feeling too challenged, we’ll talk about what’s going on and come up with a plan. Growth and change are often unsettling before they’re rewarding.
What is counseling, how does it work?
Change is always happening. Counseling is choosing or inviting that change by encouraging you to try out new things in your life. We’ll also explore your part in your emotional, personal, and inter-personal experience.
Your counseling can be guided by creating goals to work toward. Considering questions like “What would I like to get out of counseling?” and “If counseling were successful, what would my life be like?” can help you form your goals.
It can be helpful to write down what you think about between sessions and bring this with you to counseling. I invite you to come into session with a list of things to talk about! I may also give you homework from time to time. This helps to bring what you are learning in counseling into your everyday life.
How do I get the most out of counseling?
Ideally counseling isn't something that ends when a session is over. In order to get the most out of counseling you have to make an effort to bring it into your life. Here are some ways to do that:
Another powerful tool to become aware of what's going on in your life it to keep a journal. Here are some things you can keep in a journal:
Someone talked me into going into counseling, what do I do now?
Many people begin counseling at someone else’s request or demand. Sometimes the people around us can see more clearly what’s going on for us than we can. Still, it can be irritating or angering to have someone tell you what to do.
You need to be ready to begin counseling. If there’s no part of you that wants to be here then our sessions are unlikely to be helpful for you.
The key to a good counseling experience is to make it your own. Another person may want you to go to counseling for some reason; but what do you want to get from counseling? The two reasons may not be the same.
Also, counseling can be a very private experience; telling others what goes on in your sessions may or may not be helpful – they are your sessions, not theirs. You decide what, if anything, to share.
How long am I going to be in counseling?
At the start, counseling usually takes place weekly for about an hour. It may last longer or happen more often, depending on the issues involved.
People stay in counseling anywhere from a few months to many years. It truly depends on your goals and needs. A useful question may be, “How do I know when I’m done with counseling?” You’ll know because you’re feeling better, noticing a positive difference in your life, and meeting your goals.
* EMDR is a therapy designed to resolve difficult experiences. CBT is a therapy used to promote tolerance of difficult emotions.
I know that coming to counseling can be anxiety producing or may bring up self-judgment, especially at the start. I hope this guide will ease some of the apprehension.
What’s going to happen at my first appointment?
In our first session I’ll review some important parts of the intake documentation with you and we’ll talk about why you’ve come to counseling. As always, your questions are welcome.
During your first few sessions we will be getting to know each other. As we’re talking you might ask yourself questions like, “Can I work with this person?” and “Do I feel safe enough to talk openly?”
The first session will last about 55 minutes and if you decide to continue we’ll schedule your next sessions. Counseling is most effective when it happens on a weekly basis and we can decide what timing works best for you.
I’ve never been to counseling before, what do I do?
Talking is the main activity in counseling and early on I’ll do more directing of the conversation until you become more at ease. Later we may explore what’s going on for you using self-reflection, homework, visualizations, and other experiential exercises.
Here are some things you can do in your first session:
- Let me know what’s going on for you.
- Be curious about yourself, your experience (thoughts, emotions, body sensations), the world, counseling, and anything else that catches your attention.
- Pay attention to what’s going on inside you and around you, in session and then out of session.
Here are some more things you can do in later sessions:
- Work with me to clarify your goals so that you know when you're making progress.
- Try out new behavior in the session and outside. Notice what happened when you did things differently.
- Between sessions, write down the things you want to talk about.
Why be in counseling?
The main reason to be in counseling is to feel better. For a time it might be a struggle as you face the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid, but the overall goal is for you to feel better about yourself and your life.
People go into counseling to get different things:
- To get support during life changes
- To explore an issue or pattern of behavior in their life
- To strategize new behavior
- To get tools in order to become more skillful in living life
- To develop personal understanding and insight
- To engage in a specific counseling like EMDR or CBT* in order to address a specific issue
Some of the downsides of counseling may include poor fit with the counselor or with the kind of counseling, feeling uncomfortable, or being challenged. If it’s one of the first two, feel free to bring it up with me right away; hopefully we can work it out. If it can’t be worked out, there’s no point in being in a situation that is unproductive for you.
If you're struggling with being too uncomfortable or feeling too challenged, we’ll talk about what’s going on and come up with a plan. Growth and change are often unsettling before they’re rewarding.
What is counseling, how does it work?
Change is always happening. Counseling is choosing or inviting that change by encouraging you to try out new things in your life. We’ll also explore your part in your emotional, personal, and inter-personal experience.
Your counseling can be guided by creating goals to work toward. Considering questions like “What would I like to get out of counseling?” and “If counseling were successful, what would my life be like?” can help you form your goals.
It can be helpful to write down what you think about between sessions and bring this with you to counseling. I invite you to come into session with a list of things to talk about! I may also give you homework from time to time. This helps to bring what you are learning in counseling into your everyday life.
How do I get the most out of counseling?
Ideally counseling isn't something that ends when a session is over. In order to get the most out of counseling you have to make an effort to bring it into your life. Here are some ways to do that:
- Have clear goals that you want to work toward. This is how you know you're making progress.
- Come to counseling with an attitude of open curiosity about your experience.
- Practice the new behaviors you learn in session and make a note of your experience.
Another powerful tool to become aware of what's going on in your life it to keep a journal. Here are some things you can keep in a journal:
- Track your goals for therapy: how are you progressing, what are you noticing?
- Notes about the insights, new clarity, and understandings you have in session and between sessions.
- Questions, issues or concerns you'd like to work on. These have a habit of disappearing before the session!
- Major themes that come up in a session.
- Copies of assessments that you may do and your reaction.
- Homework or commitments: what the commitment was, how it went, the outcome, insights.
- Copy helpful graphics from your session.
- Report of feelings, behavior, etc for each day.
Someone talked me into going into counseling, what do I do now?
Many people begin counseling at someone else’s request or demand. Sometimes the people around us can see more clearly what’s going on for us than we can. Still, it can be irritating or angering to have someone tell you what to do.
You need to be ready to begin counseling. If there’s no part of you that wants to be here then our sessions are unlikely to be helpful for you.
The key to a good counseling experience is to make it your own. Another person may want you to go to counseling for some reason; but what do you want to get from counseling? The two reasons may not be the same.
Also, counseling can be a very private experience; telling others what goes on in your sessions may or may not be helpful – they are your sessions, not theirs. You decide what, if anything, to share.
How long am I going to be in counseling?
At the start, counseling usually takes place weekly for about an hour. It may last longer or happen more often, depending on the issues involved.
People stay in counseling anywhere from a few months to many years. It truly depends on your goals and needs. A useful question may be, “How do I know when I’m done with counseling?” You’ll know because you’re feeling better, noticing a positive difference in your life, and meeting your goals.
* EMDR is a therapy designed to resolve difficult experiences. CBT is a therapy used to promote tolerance of difficult emotions.